Mike in Sri Lanka (again!)

2006-07-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Slaughter the fatted calf, prepaire my second best bed, because I'm coming home, finally! I had a good run but all this work really beat be down. Everything, well almost everything, is packed and ready to go.

On Friday we had our end of the term meeting with the Old Boys. Lasantha, Felix, Neil, Casey, Ravi, and Dudley were all there. We met in Brother Grandville's office. Some lemonade was brought out to us as we sat in a circle, I sat between Blair and Melissa, and Bro. Augustine sat next to Blair. Bro. Grandville sat behind his desk, quietly and overshadowed by the Old Boys. It was run like a buisness meeting. I was an Ed major to avoid such meetings, but it had to be done. Felix, Neil, and Casey all had notepads and took copious notes. "Would you come back?" "How did you benefit?" "What should we change?" We ourselves had a lot we wanted to say, maybe even to get off of our chests, but we were afraid of seeming too demanding. Yet the Old Boys were so receptive and understanding of what we had to say that we were able to say everything. We told them that teaching 5 classes and having 180 students a day, then after-school classes for 2 hours as well as Saturday classes was too much and anyone who would come for longer would have a hard time. Then one of the Old Boys asked the million dollar question.
"What I want to know is, what were the other teachers doing while you were teaching? They just had the time off?" They looked at each other saying things like "Thats what I want to know" and "good question." Bro. Grandville squirmed in his chair. I looked over at Bro. Augustine who whispered, "Nabbed!" at us. The Old Boys were upset that we were replacement teacehrs and not supplement teachers, as were we. We gave our suggestion for a smaller classroom size consisting of the most struggling students for next time. They all agreed. Titus -- the 10th grade teacher-- was in the room and tried to defend himself, making it seem that, although he wasnt teaching it gave him the opportunity to do other important things. Only Bro. Grandville agreed.

The next day Bro. Augustine Silva came over to go fishing down on the shore. Rasika bought me some prawns for bait. We went to one beach and caught nothing. We stook on a rock and fished off of that. As the tide came up we decided it would be best to get to a better fishing point. So we got down, and I must say for a 53 year old man Bro. Augustine is nimble, jumping from rock to slippery rock without ever even coming close to falling. We passed two boys with 3 fishing poles and one boy offered a pole to Bro. Augustine since we had to share mine. He said no thanks though. Then we went on some rocks that jutted out far into the sea. I heard someone yelling and it was Rasika, who stook on top of the hill by the provincial. I told her to come down. She raced down the hill with Judith and her little sister Loretta, and some boy holding a little baby. Bro. Augustine Nicoletti came only for a few minutes then went back up. The pole rotated between us and the sun was near its end. It splashed the most beautiful colors across the sky and the air was now cooler. I thought that some other fisherman, maybe in the Maldives or Africa must be waking up and seeing the other side of this beautiful illumination. The kids went back up. It was just me and Bro Augustine.
"Want to try again?" I asked.
"No no, you go." I casted out and pulled back nothing, not even my bait. I asked him again if he wanted to try.
"No no Michael, you go, I like just sitting here, watching you fish and the sky." He was sitting on a rock and his feet were on another, getting wet with each wave. He put more bait on my hook, I cast out and pulled in nothing.
"Let me know if you want to go." I now had an understanding that fishing for him at this moment was not about catching a fish, but about experiencing the calm ocean. I was glad to have a friend who could appreciate the beautiful sky and the soothing sound of the ocean slapping the rocks.
"Do you think we should go in before it gets dark?"
"Yes, but I think you must try once more." He said. He put the bait on my pole and I cast out again. I brought back nothing.
"Shall we go."
"Try once more." I did. "Once more."
"Sure." He didn't care if I caught anything, and neither did I. I saw that I had no bait but I left my hook in the water, pretending that I did have bait. I didn't want to make him get up to put some bait on. Neither of us said anything or removed our heads from the dipping sun.
"Okay Michael" he said. We packed up and climbed on the rocks to get back. It was almost dark and only a small flame peeked over the horizon. The little man in front of me hopped from rock to rock. "You know Michael, I think that we shall keep this friendship until the day we die." The sun was down completly and a four foot bat cruised above us. He jumped onto another rock.
"Yep, until we die."

2006-07-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

It was a nice breezy afternoon. I looked out over the Indian Ocean. "Do you think you are ever going to go fishing?" Asked Blair. She had read my mind. I had been thinking about the fishing pole that my dad bought me which became a burden to bring on the plane. I had to use it.
"I'm thinking of going now."
"Oh yeah? I'll come with you." So I ran upstairs and set up my pole. Everything was ready.
"Gunna catch anything big do you think?" Asked Melissa.
"Pssht, I'll be lucky if I come back with my tackle." We ran outside and found a good spot to fish from. I stood on some rocks and began to cast. Nothing. I cast again. Nothing. I cast again. I got stuck on something. I freed myself. I went again and again. Next to me were two guys my age, both fishing with wooden poles and no reels. A Hindu family which had been enjoying the ocean came over to talk to Blair. The sun was setting.
Cast.
Nothing.
Cast.
Nothing.
Cast.
Stuck! I tried to free myself but it wasn't working. So I moved over, but that didn't work. I jerked and twisted the rod. It was stuck. Everyone was looking at me, this foolish kid with a fancy pole who had yet to catch anything. The two boys came over giving me advice in Sinhila. I did what they said. Nothing. I fought with the pole as the Hindu family talked to Blair and giggled at me. Wave after wave of water would come up and smash into me, but I fought on. One of the two boys walked over to me. In good faith he handed me a fish. I held the six inch fish which was gasping for water in my hands. A pity fish. I felt pathetic.
"Oh, haha, thanks, but it's okay, I don't want to take your fish." I said. They didn't understand what I was saying, but they understood what I meant. They pointed at the sea. They wanted me to throw it back? I figured that they would keep anything they caught here. "Throw it back?" I point at the sea. They nodded yes. The fish was still gasping. Each wave hit me and gave a little more life to the fish and only poured salt on my wounds. The sea had caught my hook, and with each wave it reminded me of its victory. I tossed him back. I fought with my pole some more. The other boy offered to help. I passed him my rod. He pulled. The line snapped. I knew I was beat and they did all that they could to help me. He made a hook shape with his finger and then stuck it on a rock.
"Yeah, I know." I said.
Blair said goodbye to the family. "Stutti" I said to the boys. They started walking to a new fishing location. Blair was making arrangements to meet the family the next day.
"I think I'm teaching that woman English tomorrow." I laughed. I went up to my room and changed out of my soaked clothes. I went across the hall to Bro. Naked's room.
"Hey, Bro. Benjamin?"
"Ah yes! Okay. Ahehehahaha." A pretty standard response from him.
"You don't know anything about fishing do you? Like, what bait I should use and stuff?"
"No, I don't know. Bro. Rajan will know." I then told him my story. He just laughed and laughed at me. Bro. Ignatius then walked up the stairs and asked what was so funny. I told him my story and then he laughed at me. Great, I was the laughing stock of the fishing community in America and now in Sri Lanka. Bro. Ignatius said that he would ask the girls he tutors to help me. So the next day two sixteen year old girls in dresses with flowers on them, whose favorite subject is religion and are from the fishing community, would take me fishing. My only hope to catch a fish was in these two, soft spoken young ladies.

The next day after school they came up to me. "Malu?" Rasika asked. "You want to go fishing?"
I tried to play it off real cool, as if I didn't need these girls. "Oh, well I mean, if you aren't buisy, sure."
"Okay, well at six o'clock I must come back to study." Great, she had a curfew. "Okay, I go and get some things." They ran down to her house and I went to my room to change. I saw Bro. Naked in his room.
"I'm going fishing, and I won't come back without a fish!" I yelled. He burst out in laughter. Rasika met me and had brought some tiny hooks without holes for the fishing line. I had no idea how to tie these kinds of fishing hooks. The other girl grabbed my fishing pole and ran down the hill and we followed. She sprinted in front of us and went deep into the sketchy fishing community. I hadn't been in there since the first day when I vowed to never come back. The girl was getting a weight and some bait from a family friend, who also attatched the hook. A man came out of the bar (which is owned by my student's mother) to talk to us. His daughter lived in Sacramento.
"Teachers, we are teachers at St. Bens."
"Teachers!? Oh! then you are always most welcome!"
We were ready. We walked out onto the rocks which jutted out far into the bay. "Where you go fishing tomorrow?" She meant yesterday. I pointed to the spot where I had lost my hook. "Oh! There are no fish there." You mean to tell me that the fish aren't fourty feet over there, but are really over here? Okay whatever.
I cast and brought my line back in. Nothing. I did that a few times.
"If any of you want to try let me know." I said. A few minutes later Rasika's friend wanted to try. She asked me to cast for her. So I did. I turned around to say something to Blair when I heard the girl yell in joy. I had just finished saying, "I bet she catches a fish" when she caught a fish. Now I had to catch a fish. I unhooked the fish, and in doing so hooked Rasika's hand. I unhooked Rasika. I tried once, then twice. Everyone was giving me advice. The man whose daughter was in Cali came over to see how we were doing. Now he was giving me advice. Fishing, for me, is a nice, solitary, relaxing sport. I don't care if I don't catch anything as long as I am having a good time. But now there were just too many chiefs and not enough indians. The girl who caught the fish wanted to try again. This time she succeeded only in tangling my line. I fixed it. I casted out again. I got stuck. This is when everyone had advice, none of which worked. The old man, whose name I later found out was Clifford, would not stop telling me what to do. Rasika told me to cut the line and that she would get me more stuff. She left and came back in ten minutes with new hooks and a new weight. Clifford had been lecturing me on something, what it was I don't know. He was able to tie the hook on however. A nearby fisherman helped by giving me some more appropriate weights.
"Come fish over here" he said. So now the fish were ten feet over. Okay fine. I cast out, nothing. Again, too many chefs sturring the pot. The other man caught a nice big fish. Damn him! I could do that! I tried again. Rasika's friend wanted to try again and she tangled my line, again. The sun was going down and they had to go. In trying to detangle my line the hook got stuck on a rock. I was going bazerk! Everyone had advice. I decided to not listen to them anymore. I jumped down onto the lowest rock after handing Blair my wallet, my camera, and my room key; I handed Rasika'a friend the pole. I got on my knees. I could see a huge wave coming at me. It got me drenched from head to toe. I didn't care. I would be damned if I lost this hook. I stuck my arm into the water following the line to the hook. It was far. My chest was in the water. Another wave hit me. The water was dirty and salty. Everyone, except Blair, was telling me that all I needed to do was just tug on the line; that I was doing too much work. I ignored them. Finally, I got the hook out, cut the tangled line and started to head back. I was expecting Clifford to ask for money.
"Mike," he said "come back sunday, have a drink at the bar. We will catch fish!" Then he walked back home. All of his annoying advice really was from a good meaning heart. I went up to my room to shower. I came out and sat at the table downstairs. Bro. Naked was closing all of the windows for the night. He walked up to me. "How was your fishing campain?" I looked at him with angry and upset eyes.
"Only the girl caught a fish. I only got wet."
"AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHHOHOHOHOHOHEHEHAHAHOHOHEHAHO!" He ate it up. He laughed all the way to the stairs, up the stairs, and into his room, and I'm pretty sure that I heard him laughing from my room at midnight.

2006-07-16T04:07:00.000-07:00

The bus station was pretty crazy and I was glad that we hadn't gone alone. The St. Bens driver took us and said that he knew which bus we had to get on. When we got to the station, however, it was evident that he had no idea which bus it was. He asked around and someone pointed in the direction of a tiny, rectangular, white bus. We walked through the sea of people coming in and out of colombo. He asked them if this was the bus that would take us to where we needed to go, Udawalawe Junction. It was. He nodded his head at us and said, "Ok, good."
"How much?" I asked.
"Yes, Udawalawe Junction."
"No, how much will it cost?"
"Yes." Okay, that would be fruitless, so we just got on. It was a tiny air conditioned bus, nicer than most of the other busses. Fake flowers decorated the ceiling and crazy Hindi or Sinhila music blaired througout. We waited for a half hour and then were on our way. When we got there we were supposed to call a guy named Nishantha. His number was given to us by the man who took us to Hikkadua the weekend before. I called Nishantha from St. Bens on Friday.
"Hello? Nishantha?"
"Yes."
"Oh, is this Nishantha?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well your name was given to me about going to Udawalawe park?"
"Yes, ok."
"So... what... He said that you could pick us up from the bus station and bring us to a hotel, and then to the park the next day?"
"Yes."
"Ummm... at which hotel will we be staying?"
"Yes."
"No, which?"
"Okay."
I figured I would just ask a question that would be met by his answer. "So you have a hotel ready?"
"Yes."
"Okay great. Where should we meet you then?"
"Yes.... Get down at Udawalawe Johnson. Call me. I'll pick up." It was understood that if I called him he would pick up his phone, so I think he meant to say that he would pick us up.
"Udawalawe Johnson?"
"Yes okay, bye!"
"No! Wait! 'Johnson?' Really?"
"Yes, goodbye." And with that, he hung up. So if Nashantha was really going to pick us up or not I was uncertain, but I kept on. I asked Bro. Augustine about the Johnson part, it turned out he meant Junction.
The bus went on for about three hours. Just as I was about to loose all hope of ever getting there the bus assistant sprang up and poked me. He pointed to the street and then told the bus driver to stop at the corner. We leapt of the bus and it sped away. Then there we were, at a tiny town known as Udawalawe Junction. And that's all it really is, a T where two streets meet. Its about 50 yards big. In the center of the famous junction after which the town is named is a Bow tree with a statue of Buddha under it. It served as a traffic circle. Buddha, sitting under that tree reminded everyone that "All Life is Suffering," and to slow down.
"Okay so let's call."
I took out the cell phone and the crumpled up piece of paper on which the number was written, along with all of the candy wrappers which were in my pocket. We had no service.
"I'm sure we can find a place to call around here somewhere" Blair said. We looked around, it was right behind us. We went in and asked for a phone. Then I gave the lady the phone number and she called for us. I was expecting her to hand us the phone once someone picked up, but she had a nice conversation with Nishantha. She hung up.
"He'll be here." She said. The town was so small she probably knew him. We waited outside for about eight minutes. A guy of about 24 walked up to us and said somethings which I did not understand.
"So... you're Nishantha?" I asked. I thought I heard that name in there somewhere.
"No, he went to town, but I can take you." To town? We were in town, I could have yelled his name and he would have heard us.
"Okay then!" I said. And we followed him.
100 meters from the junction was the hotel. It had two rooms, the right one and the left one. Each had only two beds seperated by a plastic night table. We took the right one. We had sat down for five minutes when the power went out. The only light in the hotel came from the incense that was burning next to the statue of Buddha. So this Buddha said, "Become one with everything, except, don't hit your head on the low clearence door." Nishantha eventually showed up and droopped us off at a restaurant and it was arranged that a "took took" would bring us back.
"Six thirty, your jeep will be here." He said. We went to bed, Blair and Melissa slept in the bigger bed, I slept in the small one.

We woke up at six and were out by six thirty. The three, always shirtless, guys who lived at the hotel together, woke us up with some tea. We got to the park. Everything was mysterious and elusive as no one really spoke. We paid and then pulled into the park. We could see elephants at a distance. The guide that came with us told the driver to go offroad. We got close to a family of elephants. Then we got closer. We were so close that I could hear the elephant growling at us. IT came up to the jeep. No danger came upon us. We went on, spotting crocadiles, (the last thing I watched before I came to Sri Lanka was Lake Placid) Jackle, myriad birds, deer, and more elephants. I was never afraid of the wild elephant to which we came uncomfortably close. I wasn't afraid, that is, until one tried to attack us.

It seemed as if our safari was coming to an end when we spotted a lone male by the side of the road. We stopped. The elephant kicked some grass at us. Nothing yet. I took some good pictures. "Okay, we can go." I said. The driver turned off the car, assumingly to not disturb the already disturbed elephant which was ten feet away. It yelled its loud trumpet roar at us and then threw some dirt. It leapt at us but the guide yelled and hissed at it and it backed down. Trumpet call again. More dirt, another jump. We pulled away. Our hearts started again. It's a known fact that most deaths caused by animals in jungles are caused by elephants. More than snakes or lions or any animal like that.

The last elephant we saw was an old male who stood in the road. He walked off slowly as he was hurt. His hips were damaged by another elephant, or so I gathered from what the guide tried to say.

We were dropped off on the other side of the junction. We paid the driver (or rahter, Melissa and Blair did, as I was out of money for the day and the bank was closed). We waited for the bus. We took a public, non-air conditioned bus. Seven Hindu gods with flashing red, yellow, and green lights around them decorated the windshield. Hindi music blaired. It was a fun novelty, the bus, or at least it was at first. However, after standing for three hours on a crouded, dirty, hot bus, I was ready to get off. I got a seat for the last hour.

We got to the station and found a "took took" driver.
"De La Salle, in Mutwal?"
"Oh! I went to school there when I was kid!" He said.

2006-07-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

We were almost done with our 4th week when we heard the words that we had feared and expected but hoped to never encounter. Bro. Rajan approached us, "I have some terrible news..." Well, this was it. We had made it 4 weeks and now we would have to evacuate the country because of the war. How sad I would have been to have to leave this country in such a hurry. There were so many people that I would want to say goodbye to, so many last minute pictures I would want to pose for with people. And better yet, there were myriad skeptics who I wanted to show that Sri Lanka is really a peace filled country, yet now I realized that I was destined to fail in that endevour. What would my students think? How would they react when Bro. Vernon walks into the classroom and says that I had to leave? Really Sri Lanka had been great to us, we spent a marvelous weekend and Hikkaduwa and we were planning to go see elephants and leopards on a Safari at Udawalawe this weekend. But now the only elephants we would see would be on the souvineer t-shirts being sold at the airport. What a shame it would be to leave such a beautiful, hopsitable place. Then there are all the people who tell us that we are doing a great job, or a great deed, like Bro Rob who, in his twisted way, tells us that we are doing a good thing in e-mails to Melissa:

"You, Mike and Blair work with the poor and I'm off to the beach for the weekend starting today Thursday. Thank God we trained young people to do what we should be doing. Where will Blair go after Sri Lanka? Has anyone proposed to her? Better yet, has Mike proposed to anyone? It might be his last and only chance.

Be well!

Brother Robert
--Brother Robert C. Berger, F.S.C.
Vice President for Student Life
Manhattan College"

I'm not sure if I should be offended or scared by that comment. Anyway, what would those people say? Would they be dissapointed?

Then there are our adventures, well, they aren't so much adventures as much as they are our ignorant urban fears about the jungle. For instance last night Bro Naked found us trying to kill something in Blair's room. "A serpent!?" he assumed.
"No! It's a huge spider." He sprang into action hunting it down, but it was Blair that found it and killed it after it had ran away from us. Bro. Naked approaced the corpse. He burst out into laughter, "It's only very tiny! Harmless. I thought it must have been a serpent!" He laughed and giggled as he walked away.
"Serpent!?" We all asked in fright.
"Only a tiny spider" he forced out through his laughter as he closed his bedroom door behind him.

A pregnant pause between Bro Rajans sentences. We knew what was coming though. We were practically on our way to pack our bags. We could be outside in five minutes.

We stared at him awaiting the signal.

His mouth opened to finish his sentence. "We went to two grocery stores today and both were closed, so we couldn't buy any soda or anything like that." That was it? That was the terrible news? We didn't have to leave, but rather, we have to do without soda for a few days? We don't even drink soda! We all laughed and he just looked at us, partially insulted as he thought that we were laughing at his failed hospitality.
"That's fine Bro. Rajan. We will be okay, thank you very much."

Today Bro Naked spots me from across the quad, he hails me over. He bursts into laughter. "Only a tiny spider. Harmless! I thought it was a serpent. I'll call her Spider-Girl from now on!" He laughed his way into his office and I stood there, alone on the quad, watching my self pride melt on the hot black basketball court.

Oh yeah, today is July 14th! VIVE LA REPUBLIQUE!

2006-07-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

Compared to Blair and Melissa, this tutle looks pretty good... hey-ooooo!

2006-07-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! I'm sorry that I haven't been able to respond to some of your comments, I will try soon, I just want you all to know that I have a new E mail address, it's heyimmichael@gmail.com . So please, e-mail me at that address if you want to talk to me. Also, I will be trying to put up some pictures on Monday. See you in 3 weeks! ALLEZ LA FRANCE!!!!!!

2006-07-05T04:44:00.000-07:00

So it was the 4th of July and I really didn't feel like teaching, I needed an easy lesson plan, and quick. Blair and I came up with it together, "Let's have them say what they would do if they ruled their own country."

"Yeah, they can make up their own flag, Constitution, sounds great." It was, I mean, I had to do very little and it was a change of pace for them, all would be great. And then I realized what might be a hunderance on this phenominal lesson, my Tamil class. Would this lesson lead to cries of violence. After all, other Tamils are, in fact, trying to do exactly that, make their own nation with their own laws.

I walked into the class. I am about to say something that no teacher should never admit, but always thinks. My Tamil class is my favorite class. They speak English really well, but have a personality and make me laugh. I have to tell them to keep quiet, but they aren't being disrespectful, they are just having fun with what I am teaching them. For instance, today I said, "Guys, quiet down" and they just repeated the word "guys." "Do you know what that means?" I asked. And they all said yes. So I couldnt figure out the problem. "Should I call you gentlemen? You certainly aren't." Then I went through a list of options. Sri Lankans, men, boys, kids, idiots, and lastly, "I know, I'll call you 'ladies.'" They laughed. "Okay get to work ladies!"
"Yes Madam!" yelled one kid. I had a good laugh.

Anyway, to avoid hearing cries of blowing up buses I made a speech about Gandhi, Thoreau, and King, with hopes that I would send them a message. In reality, it was unnecessary. They wrote eloquent stories about their all equal, democratic, peaceful nations. I was a pleased taecher. They had fun, I did little work, and they weren't so bored.

When I got back I changed my clothes in my room and came downstairs to get a drink, I was facing the doorway when a girl almost ran into me, "Give me a knife please!" It was Resuka, and before I go on I must tell you how I first met her: Melissa, Blair, and myself were all going to the computer room. Right outside of the room there is a rather large hallway, where several young girls who are daughters of the fishing folk from the nearby fishing village (many with paretns who were killed in the tsunami) are tutored by Bro. Ignatius. The girls range in age from 11 to 16. They study hard for many long hours everyday. They hang on to everything Bro. Ignatius says. He teaches them every subject and I have no doubt that St. John Baptiste De La Salle himself would be proud of him. So anyway, while going to the computer room, at about 9 pm we hear someone yell "Hey!" in a rather agressive tone. Now, if you have ever known a Sri Lankan, you would know that the agresson level in their voice and their volume never exceeds about 1 decible, so this yell caught our attention. It happened to come from a girl, which seemed even more strange. "Today is my birthday," she said as she cut three pieces of her cake and handed it to us. She was sixteen. "My name is Resuka."
"What a pretty name" I said, "I wont possibly forget it." About 10 minutes later I found myself asking Melissa and Blair, "What the hell was her name?"

Anyway, she wanted a knife. "What!?" I said.
"A knife please!"
"Oh... Okay. You're not gunna kill anyone with it are you?" I asked?
"Hm?"
"I said, you're not going to kill anyone are you?" I repeated as I got the knife.
"I can't hear you?" I felt like I was talking to my dad. I spoke a little louder.
"You- arent- going- to - kill -anyone are you? I mean... I would hate to give a knife to someone... if... they were going to..." I just trailed off becasue by now the joke was long since stabbed by the very knife I was delivering. I turned the corner and found Bro. Ignatius staring at me with that same look my parents give me. The one that reads "You're an idiot" on it. Oh well.

And then today I saw a teacher smack a student for the fisrt time in my life. It made me uncomfortable, not because he hit the student, but becasue he couldnt control his own anger or the student. It was a Singhilese teacher hitting a Tamil boy. Sort of ironic. It was then that I realized that some teacehrs could control their class peacefully, like myself, Bro Ignatius, Titus, Melissa, and Blair, while others can't get what they demand in any peaceful way, so they do the only thing they know how to do, they explode.

My students told me to watch the soccer game tonight.
"Is it the 5th?" I asked.
"It is!" they said. The 5th, the 5th, hmmm, it rang another bell in my head. Oh, that's right. July 5th, Black Tiger Day, the Tamil celebration of the first Tamil Tiger suicide bombing.

2006-07-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

It was 8:30 in the AM and Melissa, Blair, and myself were not looking forward to our Saturday of teaching. We were to go to St. Bens and then to another LaSallian school right after. Bro. Augustine appeared in the kitchen 15 minutes early.
"I am to come pick you up but I decided I come early." We were pleased to see him. "Today you were to go to Boys Town but Bro. Granville has a meeting and cannot bring you, so I called my sister and we shall go to my place, is that okay?"
"Oh yeah, that sounds great" we said.
So we taught grades 6 and 7 for 2 hours, then at around 1 oclock we left. Along the way we stopped for some Greek food where Bro. Augustine confessed that he hates Sri Lankan food. Then we continued down the same road for about an hour until we reached his home. His sister stood outside to greet us. After we used the bathroom and ate some fruits, Brother took us out to see the river which lead into the ocean. He wanted us to travel across it by a canoe but the owner of the canoe had stopped for the day. "Perhaps another time, then" he said, which I took as a compliment since it was his way of asking us back to his sisters house.

We returned to the house and sat outside. Bro. Augustine was buisy about getting some drinks and chips and such. Eventually he came and sat down, he poured us all a little bit of Arrak, a double distilled Sri Lankan coconut drink. "First you must try the first one, and then the second, straight, with nothing in it, then you tell which vone you like best." We all drank it, then we took some of the other. "Now that you know which one you like better, you help yourself."

His siter brought out some more food, the bugs died down along with the sun, and so we remained on his property being held close together so that we could all use the outdoor lightbulb. We ate great food, rice, fresh juicy tomatoes, fish, drank some great Arrak, and sang songs in Sinhila, Spanish, and French. In the corner of my eye I saw the outdoor faucet, which was used for washing ones hands after outdoor meals, dripping, revealing a florescent pearl of water which created a soothing rhythm that could be heard between laughter, conversation, and song. Above us one could see that the earth had been partially blocking the sun from reaching the moon, and many would have to argue whether it was this astronomical chore or our jovial conversation which made the moon smile down on us.

2006-06-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I spent half the night sitting on the toilet. Really, what would a trip to Sri Lanka be without one of those? The other half of the night I stayed up listening to the war that was going on in the attic. I could hear tiny claws running across the ceiling, then some squealing, then some more running and then a thud. It went on all night and I was determined to figure out what it was. But I didn't want to leave a 5 ft radius of the bathroom, so I decided that it could wait.

When I got to school the next day I knew something was wrong. A police officer was talking to Bro. Granville. I heard that one of St. Bens' Tamil students has been arrested for suspicion of terrorism two days earlier. He had been taking pictures with his camera phone and the authorities took him in. The kid was no where to be found, however. I knew it had to be something else. Bro. made an announcement but I couldn't hear what he was saying, I figured that it wasn't too important because none of the boys were listening too attentivly. Then he came out and turned to me.
"There is a little havok today."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"There was a Tamil threat today on the schools and many boys did not come."
The LTTE had aparently threatened the schools of Sri Lanka. We had to search every students' bag and check all of the classrooms for, a bomb I guess. Melissa, Blair and I debated what we should do. We didn't want to go home, but we didn't want to be in too much danger.
"It's Bro. Granville's duty to keep his boys safe, he wouldn't keep the school going if it was dangerous" I said. So we went to our classes.
I have to say, I was a little afraid of my "11A" class. They are my Tamil class. I didn't know that they were all Tamil until last Saturday when Titus told me. I hated looking at them a little differently, not as if they were inferiour, but I looked on them with a bit more caution. That is, however, until and I walked into the classroom. I could feel in the air two seperate and simultaneous emotions. I could tell that the kids felt different. They seemed to be suprised that I had come at all. At the same time some of the students walked with an air of superiority, as if I should be afraid of them. My fear dissapated then and there, and I went back to being my usual self. I could tell that in the end, they were happy that I was not, in fact, afraid of them. They were glad that I had come.

I went to have tea at Interval with the brothers, Melissa, and Blair.
"So my students told me what Bro. Rajan said the noises upstairs probably were."
"Oh yeah?" said Melissa and Blair.
"I said that he said they were like rats, but bigger than rats. They said it's a 'Polecat.'"
"So, is it a cat, or a rat?" Asked Blair.
"That's exactly what I asked."
"Ah yes! A Polecat. We kill them and eat them. Good eating!" Said Bro. Vernon at one end of the table. I shuddered to think of eating a huge rat.
I turned to Melissa and Blair and said, "Have you ever heard of a Polecat?"
"Polecat! Yes!" Bro Naked (Bro. Ben's new nickname) said from the other end of the table. "You can hear them..." he pointed his finger at the ceiling.
"Yeah I know! They kept me up last night."
"If you catch them I will kill it and cook it for you! Very good meat on them animals. You can hear them in the church too. We try to pray and then move about like so" Bro. Naked said.

I went back to teach. I couldn't teach too much because most of my student's didn't come to school. I told stories, did some work, and had conversations with my students. I was told by Bro. Granville that the afterschool classes were cancelled.

I got to talking with my students and I asked them how they felt about the situation.
"Do you think anything will happen?" I asked. Their answer was pretty much mutual.
"It has to happen sometime."
"How do you guys feel? Nervous?"
There was a pause for a second, then slowly everyone began to say, "sad."
School ended in the middle of the last period and all the guys that came to school, about half, went home. On the quad I met one of my students. "Keep safe" I said.
"I dont understand." Oh boy, what a reflection on how I was doing.
"Be safe..." the expression on his face said that he had no idea what I was saying. "...safe... caution... just, uh, be... Have a nice day" and I gave him a pat on the back.
"Oh okay! Very well. Thank you, you too sir. God Bless." It was useless advice anyway. You can't spot a Tiger.

I got back to the provincial and tried to take a nap, but I knew that as soon as I fell asleep, the Polecats above would awaken me.

2006-06-26T05:19:00.000-07:00

I first gained interest in Sri Lanka in the 9th grade. Bro. Lawrence, in an effort to help us remember all the nations of Asia, said, "Think of India as an elephant" and we all saw the resemblence. "Now think of Sri Lanka as the snot flying out of that elephant's nose."
"Wow" I thought, "A nation of snot!"
So needless to say (but I'll say it anyway) when I was asked if I wanted to go teach in Sri Lanka all I could think was, "How could I pass up the opportunity to teach in the snot of India?" Well, there isn't really too much snot here, although today my students laughed at me when I said "God bless you." "What's funny?" Then I realized that to them, those words are a way of greeting each other. It's a Catholic school and I still haven't gotten over hearing that all the time.
Then we couldn't help but to fell snotting when we said "Where is our driver?" twice in one day. We have a driver that comes to drive us to and from school, and today he was late, and then he never showed up. We found our way, however.
Bro. Lawrence had another analogy, "...or it can be the tear coming from the elephant." Well, I haven't really seen too many Sri Lankan's cry, but I have seen a lot of smiles.
So really, I just felt like writing about snot and tears.

2006-06-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

The streets were empty. Where avid cricket fans usually gather was now dead quiet and we three stood on the dark corner of two side streets making eating motions to a cop. "You know, food? Food! To eat? Where is the cricket club at which I can eat?" The cop understood little and just pointed at the cricket stadium where the trishaw driver had dropped us off a few minutes earlier, after a misunderstanding. "No this is a cricket stadium, I need the Cricket Club, on Queens Rd." He just pointed and smiled. "Okay, thanks anyway." I couldn't blame him, he only understood one word and from what he summised, he was giving us the correct instructions.
"That looks like a major road, lets go there" Blair said. So we started walking. I glanced up and became mezmorized by the airial assault of vampire bats. The near 4 ft bats came gliding across the sky in search for food. They would swoop down and eat tiny bugs, bugs that I had to assume were there becasue they were so tiny. These large bats were able to find tiny bugs and eat them till satisfaction, and we three, semi-intelligent human beings, couldn't find an entire restaurant.
We eventually hopped into another trishaw and he took us to the Cricket Club. Melissa and I had both eaten there in January and we thought that Blair might like it. There was a vegitarian menu so she loved it. We had a great time, with great food. Blair regailed us with a tale of her getting naked and then kicking some Buddhist monks off of the radio, and then went on to embarass Melissa. We were filled with a delicious two course meal (the ice cream was amazing) and cooled off with the air conditioning. We fell about the place in laughter.
We left to get a trishaw (or "took took" as I have come to learn they call them here) and found a group of them standing at the crossroads. They all came out and asked where we wanted to go. "Mutwal. De La Salle st? St. Joseph's school?"
They talked to each other trying to figure out where it was. Then one of them turned to me.
"By the big church?"
"Uhhhh..." I couldn't remember.
"Yeah. Yes." Blair interjected.
"Oh yeah, and the police station too. Between the church and the police station" I said. "How much?"
"300 is good."
It was okay, so we took it. It's rather futile to bargan with a group of them. Then they chose one guy, a kid practically, to drive us. I could tell that they were giving him directions and then they said something else and I couldn't understand them.
We hopped in. "Colombo 7?" I had no idea.
"I think so," said Melissa.
So we squeezed in the back of the took took and took off. The man drove like an animal, he stopped for nothing. We prayed for dear life. As he kept going he would turn to us and ask if he was going in the right direction. At the time he was in the wrong lane and to be honest, I would have liked to start working on that.
We found our way and got out. We took out 300 rupies, and since it was late I was going to give him 400, I was still in a good mood. "Okay, 500" he said.
"Uhh no we said 3, and im giving you 4" I said.
"Oh no. I did not know how to get here and it is late."
"Well I'm not the cab driver, I shouldn't have to tell you how to get here."
"If you didnt know you didnt have to say yes to us then!" Said Melissa.
"We are already giving you a hundred more than we agreed on" Blair added.
The argument went on like that. I did most of the talking, mostly nonsensical stuff, and then Blair and Melissa would make good points. Then I would just repeat what they had said, using my size as my only addition. He thought we were tourists. They know that we aren't tourists since we are living in a provincial, but they still try to squeeze more money out of us. It's not so much that I couldn't spare the extra dollar, but I took it as an insult. I wouldn't let him push me around and besides, we weren't getting paid to teach and a dollar can go a long way here. If I got ripped off a dollar every ride for 6 weeks, I'd be short nearly 60 bucks.
"Is night time, is different."
"It was night time when we left, when you said 300!" In actuality it was his friend that said 300.
"No! He didn't know what he was talking about. He didn't know where we going!"
"Then- you- didnt-have-to-take-us." Uh oh, Melissa was getting Bronx on him. I was waiting for the earings to come out before the rumble.
"Okay," he said "then lets go to the police."
"Okay," said Blair and Melissa together. The man was taken aback by their willingness to go to the police. At first I thought that the last thing I wanted to do was get their police involved. Then I saw what they were doing, this guy had to work and couldn't waste his time with the police, and besides, the police would cause him just as much trouble as they would us.
"Yeah let's go! Let's get in your cab and let's go."
"I don't know where it is." He said.
"It's right here!" I pointed to the wall 3 ft away, behind which laid the fortification known as the police station.
"Let's hop the damn fence!" Melissa suggested.
"Common! Let's go! After you." I was practically shouting. It was very unlike me, but I was having a good time. "I don't have to teach tomorrow, so let's go, let's go bother the police for 100 rupies." I was stepping into the took took, hoping that I was calling a bluff.
The man turned to me. A pregnant pause.

I thought he was going to hit me. He was half my size and the security guard was watching me, but I was a bit afraid. It was a dollar, I could give it to him, a dollar to not get hit or stabbed. His eyes were a little worried and tired.

Then, in a low voice he said to me, "you are a crazy-man!" He took the money and left. We ran inside and threw the gate closed behind us, the security guard was laughing.

We sat down in the lobby of the provincial to take it all in when Bro Rajan came up to us. "Have a good evening?" He was so polite, so concerned for us. His aim was to please us with all that he could. He had told us several times that it would make him happy if we could come up with something for him to improve on, but really, everything was perfect.
"Mmmmm... yyyyeah." Blair said.
"Your 'yes' does not sound so..." he was searching for the word.
We laughed and told him our story. "Yes well, then you got a good taste of Sri Lankan hospitality." Everyone laughed "Okay, I am going to bed," he looked tired. "Is there anything I can get you first?"
"No," we all said with smiles on our faces, "nothing at all."

2006-06-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

Before I start talking about stuff I just want to thank everyone who has been reading these. It makes me feel less pathetic when I write them; it's good to know someone is reading them. I'm not sure how one responds to comments on this thing, but know that I thank you a lot! I'll get personal when I figure it out.
So anyway, the first week is over. Everyone here has been more than helpful in making sure that we are havnig a good time. I find that I now know my way around the city rather well, although I spend most of my time, when not at the school, resting around the provincial. It's very relaxing. Usually we return from school, lie down for a half hour, and then we meet in someone's room and talk. I have to say, Melissa and Blair are two fantastic travelmates. They are both just plain out of their minds. We make each other laugh as only real friends can.
At the school I get worn out. The kids drive me crazy and I love it. If I liked them everyday then they wouldn't be my students, but they would just be a novelty. I know them enough to hate their sweet little guts.
The most satisfying part of the day is the two hours of extra help I give after school when I get students to memorize part of a Blake poem and then write their own. On Friday one of my best students appeared at extra help and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Then when I asked them what they like to do he told me that he likes to write. An ideal student, getting help for the love of writing.
Today I had to help the drama club with their preformance of The Mechant of Venice. Since few people showed up, however, I was asked to talk about Shakespeare. I gave an hour long lecture about him. If they liked it or not, I do not know.
I had to make my own lunch today. Bro Rajan asked if it woudl be okay if the cook go home to see his mother. "Well, if everyone here left work to go and see their mothers, then we wouldn't be here would we!?" Is what I said. Then I made him scrub my toilet. Actually, I said that I could manage (and by I can manage I really mean I can leech off of Blair and Melissa). But that's how nice everyone here is, asking my permission to see their mothers.

Bro. Rajan said to me "so I noticed that there are some things on your floor." I think he meant to say was, "What happened to the floor? I can't see it anymore?" "Can we give you somethign to help you keep organized?" (As if the dresser I dont use isn't enough.) "Oh, no," I say. "I'm just messy."
"Oh, okay then."

I return to my room and I find a toilet scrubber in front of my door, brand new!

I can't imagine what I miss when I'm not here. Such fear ran through me when I heard of the war going on in Sri Lanka, but when I am here, I realize that there is very little to be afraid of.

I spent a half hour today looking out at the sea. The bay was filled with small boats coming in from the day, and others going out for the night. The men who were leaving were beginning a long hard journey over the tiny sand bar and into the Indian Ocean. Ahead of them laid a large falling sun sending rays of light that resembled large thin glowing fingers reaching across the sky to grab the other side of our lonley troubled planet and rock it asleep. Eventually it would be night time and everyone here would be asleep while they would be working hard. Few people will know what happened while they were gone. While rowing out to that sun they delay the darkness only a little; enevitably the dark night will fall upon them. They row on, not worried about what they won't be able to see because they know there is very little to see at all.

"So we beat on, boats agains the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
F. Scott Fitzgerald

2006-06-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

A tropical paradise, a beautiful summer's eve, two good friends, and the best sea food in all of Sri Lanka, what more could I ask? I spent the better part of a few nights ago stuffing myself with a fresh fish (the head of which Blair attempted to make out with until its tongue fell out), garlic prawns, and spicy crabs. It only cost me $18 too. Eventually I rolled out of my chair and walked onto the beach. We walked over to get a cab and we found the greatest cab driver ever.
"Cab, Taxi."
"Yeah. Mutwal? De La Salle road? Okay?" While talking to Sri Lankans I talk like a retard.
"Yes Yes! 350 rupies?" The price was pretty good, so we said okay.

Then he ran away. I looked for him and I caught him jetting down the block. Usually I would have gotten someone else but I knew that he would be coming back.

And he did. He wheeled around in his red trishaw and we hopped in. I generlly judge a cabby by his cab. Some cabbies deck theirs out, statues of Hindu gods, sexy Sri Lankan babes fully clothed, its pretty much right off of the set of "Pimp My Ride." All this guy had was some Arabic writing on his windshield. You know, it'll give me some reading material as I smash my face off of it.
"Where you from, sir?"
"America"
"Ohhhh, Americans!"
I turned to Blair and trying (successfully) to worry her I say, "This way, he knows what currency he'll be getting after he shoots us and takes our money."
He goes on to tell me that he's a musician who plays the drums. In between sentences he laughes an outrageous amount. Then the conversation turns to musical taste. He likes Abba and The Eagles. Then he says that he loves Peurto Rican music. I turn to Melissa and laugh. "Oh yeah like who?" "Rikki Martin, Marc Anthony...Shaggy!"
"Oh yeah, Shaggy came to Sri Lanka, right?" Says Melissa.
"No, before he come here." We had offended him. How silly of us, he liked Shaggy when he was underground. "Black music also very good!"
"Oh yeah, like what?" No answer. I realized that I sounded like I hated it. Oh yeah? I bet you can't give me one example cause it all sucks!
"Oh uhhh.. I mean I like it too."
"Commadors."
"What?"
"The Commodors" repeat Melissa and Blair.
That came out of the blue.
"Lionell Richie?" Asks Melissa asks as a joke.
"Yea!" Oh, okay then. "English music, American Music very different."
"Yeah I love English music."
"Freddy, Queen, Freddy Murcury. Very good voice. Great band. Sad, Freddy died. Old Age."
I didnt have the heart to tell him that he really died of AIDS. "Yeah, old age sucks."
"One time I drove three Ameican to Mutwal!"
"Oh yeah?"
"They give me 1500 rupies!" Then he laughed.
"Yeah well...." then I trailed off, casue I'm cheap.
We got him lost but after asking for directions he found the Provincial.
Melissa gave him 5 rupies and he automically went to give us change, usually they go for it slowly hoping that we will forget. Considering that he drove us across the city and only asked for $3.50, didn't kill us, we got him lost, and he got pulled over because he had Americans, we let him keep the extra money.
Melissa asked for a picture of him as she turned to us and said, "He said Peurto Ricans are the bomb!"
"Come! You sit in here" and he pointed at his seat. Melissa sat in it but she asked for him to be in the cab too. He gave a handsome pose and it was then that I realized that this man looked like my dad's friend Paul. Melissa took one more picture of just him, the gate was opened and we went in.
"Oh shit!" yelled Melissa. "I lost the phone!" The old boys gave us a cell phone to use in emergencies. She checked every pocket. We heard the cab wheel away into silence. We ran inside trying to think of where it could be. We figured that it had to be in the cab. We ran upstairs to the phone in out hallway. Oddly enough it is a hollow phone with fake buttons, but it's plugged in. I figured that there had to be a phone in the part of the building for the old brotehrs. I led the way, tip toeing and making sure that the "coast was clear" everywhere we went. We got to the hallway for the old bro's. the 85 year old brother, who has done nothing but insult us (he told Melissa that she was too dark, Blair was too light, and I think he just hates me) showed us the phone we could use (after I tried to use the phone that could only call in the building). Melissa dialed the cell number hoping that the cabbie would pick up. No answer. "Try again" I said, and she did. I was glad that she was doing it 'cause I didnt want to have to put up with trying to explain the situation to him. "Does this sound mean that it's ringing?" She asked as she gave me the phone just as the cabbie picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" Damn you Melissa "Yes! It's me. The American. In Mutwal. De La Salle!"
"Oh yes! Mutwal! How are you?"
How am I? Didnt he think it was strange that we called him on a mysterious cell phone, yet I still responded "I am good.... You have my phone. Can you bring it here, please?"
"Oh yes your phone! I have it. Okay Okay, I bring it tomorrow." It sounded like he was going to hang up.
"No no! Please we need it tonight. We will give you money!"
"Okay I come!" Uhhh hello, it's I WILL come. Anyway I thanked him a million times and we hung up.
We ran back to the courtyard. Blair and Melissa ran to their rooms to get the money, I went to the street to meet him. The gatekeeper jumped out of the dark bushes and caused me to scream like a little girl. He opened the gate with a cigarett filled smile.
Blair and Melissa met me a minute later.

And we waited.

A trishaw went by... not him.

And we waited.

Another trishaw!

We witnessed some sort of drug deal and them some other guys walked by saying hello to Melissa and Blair. The guys blew them kisses. I was the only person to say hello back and the guys got mad and left. Oh well.

We waited.

Trishaw.

The police came by and asked us questions.

And we waited.

Trishaw.

A tiny bat flew past the street light.

Then a gigantic bat flew by. I think I peed myself at that point but it's so humid here, who can tell?

And we waited. And hour had gone by.

"Who are we kidding, that guy is curled up with a Lion Lager and a Shaggy album calling everyone he knows," I said. We went to the guard booth to see if they had a phone. They didnt. I walked to the entrance to look with one last ounce of hope for the man as I considered to close the gate.

I heard another trishaw.

It was red! It had Arabic lettering on it! It was him! I shot my arms up in joy. "My man!" I yelled as Blair and Melissa jumped and clapped. He stuck his hand out of the cab and slapped me five and then we shuck hands.
"I drove very far!" He said sounding like a kid who just learned how to drive. "I did not hear it the first time and then I heard it!" He got out and stretched, the poor guy drove all over. He showed us his phone and I think he wanted to give us his number, we should have taken it. We gave him 700 rupies, almost tying the other Americans. We should have taken his number. He asked the guard how to get somewhere and we went inside thanking him. He had a huge smile on his face.

I can't help feel like that man. I came here once to help these kids and I had a great time. Then eventually, after not writing, only three of us came back. Some of the students seem dissapointed that so few of us Americans liked their country. enough to come back. A few of them though, like me waiting for the cabbie, seem relieved that we came back, having never lost their faith in our word. Some thought that none of us would ever come back at all. But like I said in the beginning, I knew that the cabbie would come back. I hope no one closes the gate. I hope we don't come back too late.

2006-06-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

My roomate's name is Annabelle. When I first set eyes on her I realized that our relationship would work out becuase she was eating a mosquito. Yeah that's right, she's gecko, and a sexy one at that. She ate some flys an then tried to sell me car insurance.
She seems to like the room as much as I do. I have my own bathroom with a shower, dresser, desk, the room is bigger than any room I have had before AND it comes with a mosquito net (Annabelle has to watch her girlish figure and therefore can't eat all of the mosquitoes).
The first night we got there it was 2 am. So we went right to bed. I fell asleep at around 3 45, just in time to hear the Mosque say their prayers over a loudspeaker right next door to me. That was frightening. At this point, I almost find it soothing.
So I woke up again at around 10 am and Melissa was already awake. We weren't sure where Blair was, the options were either kidnapped, still asleep, or eaten by a snake. So, not wanting to disturb any of those three things, Melissa and I went to go for a walk to the shore which lies just at the bottom of the hill, below the provincial.

What a mistake that was.

To get there one must walk through the fishing village. It involves maneuvering in sewage and practically in people's homes. Everyone stared at us. On man jumped in front of me asking where I was going. "To the Johnsons for some brunch. Sure we've had our differnces but oh man, his wife's cooking is so good I'll keep coming back." Where did he think? I just walked around him, ready to kick some Sri Lankan ass (Sri Lankans don't have a martial art like other Asian countries, so I don't really fear them).
We reached the sewage delta known as the harbor and we headed back to school, but not the way we came. I thought I saw a path leading up the hill to the school so we headed for that. When we got the bottom of it there was a puddle of neon green sewage. My first inclination was that it was the ooze which gave the ninja turtles their power, but then i realized taht it was probably anti freeze, if I was lucky. I took one step in and then realized that four snaked swam further into the sesspool. "What was that?" Melissa asked. "Uhhh, I'll tell you when we get out."
I wasnt too sure if we would, but we did.

Turns out that Blair was sleeping. She was awake and wanted to go for a walk. "Wanna go to the beach?"
Hell no.
"Yeah sure!"
Melissa said she would just watch from above. Nothing too exciting happened this time, although I was almost attacked by a wild pack of family dogs.

Then there is teaching. It's harder work than ever before.

Before we began we waited in the computer lab. Someone knocked on the door. Upon opening it a tiny Sri Lankan man screamed "Bonjour!!!" Oh Bro. Augustine, how glad I was to see him. He was giggly and himself and I was glad. I was afraid that he would be angry because I never wrote him. He looked at me and said, "Sorry I never wrote, I just forgot." It was then that I remembered why we got along. "It's fine" I said.
He loved the C.D.'s and I imagine him singing the words alone in his room at night.

At tea time today Bro. Vernon asked me what I thought of my neighbor in the provincial. I realized that it was a joke since he was sitting right nedt to me. Bro Benjamin (or as I refer to him, "Easy Rider" since he drives a motorcycle) is another giggly man who seems like he is high. I love him. I looked at him and said "Oh he's a good neighbor so far." He started to crack up and then forcing away the laughter he said, "Most of the time I'm half naked!!!"

It's true, too.

When I got back from school Easy Rider's door was open. The tv was on and there was a huge picutre of Jesus on the wall. Behind the desk all I found was an upright newspaper. "Hey Brother, how are you?" He lowered the newspaper revealing the shirtless Sri Lankan behind it. "Oh fine fine!"